The boys know they were born in Russia and lived in a baby house until Mama and Daddy came to get them and bring them home from Texas. A few times I've tried to throw in a few more details about growing in a woman's tummy, etc but most of that doesn't seem to stick or at least they don't talk about it. See, we plan to always be open and honest with the boys about where they were born and how they came to be part of our family. We never wanted them to "find out" one day that they had been adopted and be surprised and hurt that it was hidden from them. So, occasionally Russia comes up out of the blue. The boys will say something about being born there, and Daddy was born in New York and Mama was born in Texas. I have even actually seen Zachary play with a baby doll and say that he lived in Russia in a baby house. He even named the baby Igor (which was Zachary's birth name).
This morning on the way to school Zachary started talking about Russia. At first he just mentioned that he and Alex were born there. Then he said that he slept in a baby bed and that he didn't like the dark because there were monsters there. He said something about a teacher (I think he was talking about a care-giver but we've never called them a teacher?) but I can't remember what. What really got to me was that he said that he cried in his baby bed because Mama and Daddy didn't come and get him. Then he asked me where we were? This is a new part of the "talk". Zachary has never mentioned crying or asked a question like that. I told him that we were here in Texas getting all of the paperwork ready and making his room ready for when we were told we could go get him and that we got him as soon as we could. What else could I say? He didn't seem bothered by that answer. I just wonder where it came from. We have pictures of Alex crying (he cried at some point during about 99 percent of our visits with him) and tell him that he must have been sad or scared of Mama and Daddy but we have said nothing like that to Zachary. He took to us right away and other than bed time he didn't cry with us. Is this a memory of Zachary's or just made up talk? He was only 16 months old when he came home - such a baby.
Not to be outdone, Alex also said that he was scared in Russia (I think he meant when we came to see him) and that he had wanted to stay there. Again, even though we did tell him that he must have been scared of us we never said that maybe he wanted to stay in Russia or not come home with us. He was 24 months when he came home.
So today has ended up being all about Russia. Sometimes when it comes up once in a day then it keeps popping up. We sat at the computer together and looked at pictures from our two trips to adopt the boys. They did actually kinda "get" the fact that babies grow in tummy's (although they never questioned why they grew in someone else's tummy or who she was). Both boys have put a stuffed puppy under their shirt and said it was growing in there. (I did say that only girls can grow babies in there but hey, they're only 3 & 4!) Zachary said that a tummy with a baby inside was big like a hot air balloon. I have no idea where he got that!
It seems like I really need to get on the ball about making the boys each a life book. I have wanted to do one since they got home but am finding it hard to start since it should start with their birth and not just with us coming to get them. It needs to be in kid-speak and include pictures (they love looking at pictures of themselves as "babies") and I'll laminate it so they can keep it in their rooms to look at whenever they want. This won't replace talking about it but it will be good for them. I think I'll have to put this at the top of my to-do list.
